The Only Adventure
by Lacewood
Summary: [AU] In which a reluctant Kurosaki Ichigo finds himself packed off to Seireitei Academy, world's most elite military academy. But that's okay, Rukia and Renji can come too...
1. All Aboard!

**The Only Adventure**

**  
One: All Aboard!**

**  
**

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo, aged fifteen, sat on Platform 4 of the Karakura train station and ticked off, on his fingers, all the reasons he could think of for Killing His Goddamned Father. One, the old man was _crazy_. Two, it would be doing the world a FAVOUR. Three, it couldn't be healthy for Karin and Yuzu to grow up with a lunatic in the house. Four, people who thought that jumping on their sons while wearing yellow and purple striped pajamas was an indispensable family bonding ritual had to be put away for their own good before their sons _killed them_. Six, who the _hell_ enrolled their son in a military academy _without telling them_?

Seven, and then accused their son of dishonourable conduct with women so they could use it as an excuse to send them to said goddamn military academy? And it wasn't as if Ichigo had been _doing anything_ other than talk to Orihime. Or that it'd been _his_ fault that she'd tripped on the stairs and _fallen_ on him. Or that he'd _caught her_ - (what was he supposed to do, let her fall?) And -

"So. Think boot camp'll be fun?" Karin asked beside him, derailing him from reason nine, killing him would make Ichigo feel better. He considered ten, Karin would approve. And probably help too.

On the other hand, she sounded entirely too cheerful about the whole thing. A bloody-minded kind of cheerful, true, but still cheerful. Ichigo scowled. "Oh, I can't wait," he said.

"Karin," Yuzu said, a little reproachful. "Don't talk like that! I'm sure it's a nice place, Seireitei Academy is the best school in the country!"

Reasons to _not_ kill his father: one, Yuzu would be upset. Two, mother wouldn't have approved. But mostly, Yuzu would be upset.

"You two should be in school, you know," he said. "It's not like I couldn't send myself off, I just have to get on the train when it comes."

"But this is the last time we'll be seeing you in months!"

"It's only a couple of hours away by train. Dad says I might come down on weekends, remember?"

"But it just... won't be the same."

"Anyway," Karin said, "someone had to stop you from killing the old man." She twisted around to look over the bench they were sitting on and examined the comatose, bound and gagged figure tucked neatly behind it. "Think he'll wake before the train comes?"

"Hope not," Ichigo muttered. He scuffed a boot, so new the leather still gleamed without polish, against one of his trunks. He'd tossed the school coat on top of them because nobody wore thick, blue serge coats in the middle of September unless they were asking for a heatstroke, and anyway, all those gold braids and buttons were going to blind him if he had to see them on himself one second longer.

A glance at the station clock said that the train should have been here two minutes ago. Well, what do you know, it was late. Not that that was a surprise; looked like even trains specially chartered for crazy elite military academy students had trouble sticking to a schedule after all. He thought of the full day train ride between Karakura and the capital and was a _little_ thankful for small blessings.

Behind them, a grunt suggested that the old man was finally waking up.

"Think we should just leave the old geezer here and go home before the train comes?" Ichigo said, staring at the ceiling and scratching at the starched white collar of his shirt - what the hell did they make these things out of? Cardboard? It felt like it.

"Brother, it's not that bad," Yuzu tried to sound encouraging and failed. Then she added, "the train's here." Pointing, a small speck of black roiled in the distance, growing ever larger as it approached.

"Knew I should have run," Ichigo muttered, watching his doom bear down on him.

"Hey, it's only boarding school. If it didn't kill the old man, what's the worst it could do?"

"It could _turn me_ into the old man!"

Karin paused, then twitched. Gave him a funeral stare. "We promise to put you out of your misery if it does?" she said, out of the corner of her mouth where Yuzu couldn't hear.

Ichigo returned the look. Sometimes he wondered about Karin, he really did. Behind them, their father made a gurgling noise. "I'll hold you to that," he finally said.

The train pulled into the station with a screech and crash of churning gears and brakes, drowning further conversation. Clouds of steam and soot billowed in the air around it, and got into their eyes.

"LAST STOP FOR SEIREITEI!" the conductor roared over the noise. Karin and Yuzu leapt up, and Ichigo reached wildly for his coat. Before he'd had even time for one last, annoyed thought about chucking this whole mess and just going _home_, a porter had seized his luggage, Yuzu had hustled him into a carriage, and the train was pulling out of the station again while Yuzu and Karin waved (or rather Yuzu waved and looked tearful. Karin settled for a crook of her arm and a grimace). Ichigo managed a half-hearted sort of wave back, just for Yuzu, and that would have been the end of it, except -

They really should have used more rope.

"SON! THE HONOUR OF THE KUROSAKI RESTS ON YOUR SHOULDERS! DEFEND THE MOTHERLAND! DO NOT DISGRACE YOUR FATHER! EAT YOUR VEGETABLES AND DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH EVERY NIGHT, I KNOW YOU -"

Ichigo slammed the window shut and beat his head against a convenient wall.

-----

Ichigo spent maybe ten minutes standing in the corridor, scowling at the passing scenery and hoping Karin and Yuzu could take care of themselves with the crazy around. A lurch in the train's motion reminded him that there were still two, if not three hours left before they got to Sei-bloody-Reitei, and he couldn't spend the whole time standing out here, so turning, he began going down the corridor, eyeing the compartments as he passed and hoping for an empty one.

He went through six carriages without any luck, looked out a window, and saw that if he didn't find a seat soon, he'd have to turn around and go back the way he came. The bad thing about coming on at the last stop, he was beginning to realise, was that all the good seats had been taken already, and no one was going to welcome a random stranger barging in on their noisy parties. And he didn't _want_ to either. Ichigo had three hours of peace and freedom left; he intended to keep them even if it killed him.

At the end of the carriage, he squinted into a silent compartment and found it empty apart from the hat, book and neatly folded coat left sitting on one of the seats. A glance up and down the corridor told him no one was in sight; maybe he was lucky and their owner had gone off to join another party. Sliding the door open, he dropped into a seat, relieved.

"Stupid old man," he muttered. What the hell was wrong with Ichigo just going to some normal school like everyone else? He didn't _care_ that Seireitei was the most prestigious school in the country or that his father had been there (how the hell _had_ they accepted his father if they were the most elite school in half the world anyway?)

Somewhere in the distance, he heard girls' voices, shrill and bright. (What was it Tatsuki had said? Hey, it could be worse, at least Seireitei was co-ed, she'd pointed out when she'd heard the news. What, he'd asked, suspicious. What do you _think_? she said, then smirked. Ichigo had opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again after a very, very long moment. I'm going to _kill_ you, he'd decided. And then she'd almost broken his nose in the ensuing fight.)

And while Ichigo sat in an empty carriage, being dragged ever closer to what his father liked to call "His Destiny" and Ichigo liked to call his old man's _phenomenally stupid ideas_, Tatsuki and Chad and Orihime would be back in class listening to Mrs Ochi and lazing through lunch and being normal and bored and shit. Ichigo missed school already, and he wouldn't have imagined being able to if you'd asked him to two weeks ago.

How much could change.

The girls' voices, he suddenly noted, were growing louder. Or at least _one_ girl's voice was, sharp over the noise of the train. Another voice, lower, less clear, accompanied it, but it was _her_ voice that marched down the corridor, passing compartment after compartment until he had to sit up just as the door shot open to reveal a tall boy with red hair and a black-haired girl so short she looked half his size standing next to him.

"- haven't even gotten off the train and already you've gotten points deducted from the house!" she was saying.

"We're not _there _yet, how the hell was I know the prefects would be such tight asses on the train?" the boy grumbled.

"You were _smoking_. Out the _window_. Are you stupid? You're just lucky you weren't caught by a _teacher_, that's all -"

"No, I was caught by your tight-ass cousin, that's _so_ much better -"

Ichigo leaned back in his seat, eyeing them. And maybe if he was lucky they'd ignore him and they could go back to arguing _outside_ and - His luck ran out.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" the boy asked by way of distraction. For the girl's size, he looked like he was having a hell of a time fending her off.

Ichigo shrugged. "Needed a seat. This was the emptiest one I could find. Don't let me get in your way, I'll probably just sleep the rest of the -"

"Where'd you get on?" the girl asked. "And what's your name? Which house are you in? You're a first year too, right?" She shut the door with a brisk clap and the noise sounded suspiciously like a guillotine.

"Got on at Karakura. The last stop. I'm Kurosaki Ichigo." He looked at them. "And you?"

"I'm Kuchiki Rukia. This idiot is Abarai Renji. Sit _down_, Renji. And hand them over."

Renji sank into the seat beside Ichigo. "Hand what over?" he groused in what looked, even to Ichigo, like the worst attempt at innocence he'd ever seen.

The girl somehow managed to fold her arms and _still_ keep her balance in the swaying train. "What do you _think_?" she asked.

"Hey, your cousin looked me over. What makes you think I still have - OW!"

She removed her boot from his foot and had a hand in the boy's jacket before Ichigo could even blink. She shook the packet of cigarettes in her hand and smiled, poisonously. "Well, since you've already turned all your contraband over to my cousin, these weren't in your pocket, and it'll be no loss when I throw them out the -"

"Don't you dare!"

"Window!"

The cigarettes sailed out before he could stop them.

"Dammit, Rukia! Ikkaku was going to pay good money for those!"

"Well, lucky him, it looks like he can keep his money!"

"Bitch!"

So much for quiet, Ichigo thought from his corner, watching them go at it hammer and tongs.

"You still haven't told us which house you're in," the girl said, looking up from her retrieval of what looked like a switchblade from the boy's left trouser leg while he yelled and tried to kick her off.

"House? I don't know."

"You don't _know_?" the girl said, incredulous. "Did you even look at your acceptance letter? And which prep school are you from? I don't think I've seen you around before."

"Prep school?" he echoed blankly. "What? I just went to a normal school back in my town -"

""You _didn't go to prep_? How'd you even get into Seireitei!"

Even the boy was giving him a disbelieving look. Ichigo returned their stares with a defensive scowl. "My dad enrolled me, okay? I didn't even know I was coming here until two weeks ago! I don't know a thing about houses or prep schools or... whatever this is about - God, I should have just killed him..."

The girl gave him a considering look, then leaned over and plucked at the coat Ichigo had dropped on the seat beside him. She searched it until she'd found the school badge pinned to the right breast, and raised her eyebrows and flashed it at him. The gold pin showed a camellia.

"You're in the same house we're in," she said. "The first three years are divided into five houses. They're all named after flowers: Camellia, Lily, Willow, Lotus and Chrysantemum. After third year we get streamed into our specialisations, so there aren't houses anymore, but until then, everything you do reflect on your house, and points get added and deducted based on student's conduct. This idiot here," she pointed at the boy, "has already gotten points deducted for being caught smoking."

"Oh shut it, Rukia. Nobody asked you to give them a goddamn lecture. You're a first year like the rest of us, no need to start acting like a _prefect _yet."

She gave him a disdainful look, nose in air. "I'm just trying to be helpful, unlike some people -"

"You just don't want him to be stupid and get more points deducted from the house."

"How'd the two of you know each other anyway?" Ichigo interrupted. "Went to the same 'prep school'?"

It wasn't going to make things any easier if everyone here already knew everyone else from their prep school thing. Maybe Ichigo _should _have asked a few more questions, or at least read the student handbook. But shit, it wasn't like he _cared_, right, he just didn't want _trouble_.

Renji shrugged. "No. She went to some prissy girl's prep, can't remember what it was called. I went to a co-ed. Knew each other from before that, back when we were in foster care."

Ichigo's eyebrows rose. Foster care. Well, that might explain some things. He looked at them and decided he didn't want to ask about it.

Rukia had finally sat down and picked up the book she'd left on her seat. It was the handbook, Ichigo recognised, noted the all-too-pleased look on her face and considered bolting from the compartment.

"Which specialisation are you aiming for?" she asked, crossing one slim leg over the other and demurely smoothing her skirt as she settled herself.

"Specialisation?"

"Did you even _know_ about Seireitei before you got the letter? There are three military divisions, army, navy and intelligence. Then there's medicine, and research and development, for those who don't want to do military work."

"Oh," Ichigo said, blank. Then added, in an attempt at self preservation, "I'll read the handbook later, you don't really have to explain all the rest -"

"Too late," Renji muttered at him from the corner of his mouth. Rukia ignored them to open the book and rest it on her knees.

Ichigo blinked and Renji squinted at the book. "What the hell, you _doodled_ in your handbook? What happened to Little Miss Model Student?"

"They're not _doodles_, they're to help me remember the rules better."

"Who the hell needs to remember the rules? And those are _stick figures_, what use're those!"

"If I told you, then I'd have to kill you."

"Oh _please_ -"

"How do you know which specialisation you're going to anyway?" Ichigo asked, since if he was going to be force fed information, he might as well make it information he was a _little_ curious about.

"Your grades, probably. And I think you're supposed to choose end of third year," Renji said, stretching out one long leg to kick the girl in the knee. "Oi, Rukia, _shut_ it, no one wants to hear you pretend you're a prefect now! We're going to get enough of that later!"

"I am _not_ acting like a prefect."

"Oh sure, 'Seireitei has very strict rules about conduct and attire. For examples on how _not_ to ear the uniform, just look at Renji over there -' too bad they don't have rules about not having sticks up your asses - FUCK! Bitch, you didn't have to throw that!"

"Rule 34, swearing and bad language in any form will not be tolerated from students," Rukia quoted primly.

Renji snarled and swiped at the long scratch the book had left down his nose. "Yeah well, you can take your rule 34 and stuff it -"

"Renji - put that down! That's mine! You're not throwing it out the -"

"Should have thought of that before you threw it at me!"

Renji had shot to his feet and headed for the half opened window; Rukia scrambled up and landed a good, vicious kick at the back of his knees - Renji stumbled and crashed on top of Ichigo, who howled under the sudden weight but still managed to see the book fly out of the window.

"Bloody hell, get _off_ me!"

"Fuck, Rukia, you bitch!"

Rukia leapt on top of them and tried to stick her head out the window in an attempt to get her rulebook back. Renji twisted under her trying to get up and _she_ went down with a yelp too and -

The door crashed open.

"Yo, Renji, you _done_ with your girlfriend yet? I'm still waiting for those cigarettes you said you ha-" a bald boy demanded, then saw the mess. Ichigo swore and managed to wriggle out just enough to sit up and swear again, louder now he wasn't getting the air crushed out of his lungs.

"You people are crazy!" he yelled.

The bald boy looked him up and down and raised an eyebrow. "Haven't seen you around before. What's your name?"

"God_dammit_ - Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Well, Madarame Ikkaku here," the boy drawled. "New to this, are you? Important to get in with the right kind of crowd for this kind of thing, you know."

Ichigo gave him a look. "What?"

The boy grinned. "Just a word of advice for the young and green. You don't look half bad; you need people to hang around with, come look me up. My crowd does pretty well for itself."

Ichigo shoved Renji off with an elbow and grimaced. "Thanks. I'll bear that in mind," he said. Renji rolled over with a oath, and Rukia sat up and glared around her.

"If you're looking for the cigarettes Renji was going to sell you, I threw them out the window," she told Ikkaku, smoothing her dishevelled hair and brushing the lint from her sleeves.

"Hell, Kuchiki!"

"You know very well that cigarettes are forbidden, Madarame!"

"That's the whole point! Geeze, you're not going to be as much of a tight-ass as your cousin, are you?"

"Will you all stop calling my cousin a tight ass! He merely respects the rules of Seireitei, unlike _some_ people -"

"Hey, I call it like I see it. And c'mon, we're not the only ones calling Byakuya the biggest stick-up-ass prefect the school's ever seen, it's been going on since he _entered_. Oi, Renji, Iba says if you don't come get your stuff soon, he's filching the contraband you left in your coat. Try and wrap things up with your girlfriend before he actually _finds_ anything.""

"I didn't _leave_ any in my coat, do I look _stupid_," Renji managed. "Geroff, Rukia, you're heavy, what, do you have rocks in your pockets?"

"You owe me twenty dollars for throwing my book out the window," Rukia informed him.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Well, obviously I'll need to _replace_ it, since you threw my brand new copy _out the window_."

"Are you crazy? That book didn't cost twenty dollars!"

"I assure you it did, and I'll show you the price on the book list too if you like!"

"Yeah well, I'm not fucking paying for it! It serves you right for throwing the stupid thing at me _anyway_."

"Do you want me to _make_ you give me the money?"

"What're you going to do, sit on me till I hand it over? I'm broke anyway! You can have my copy if you need the goddamn thing so much, not like I'm going to read it."

Ichigo stood and wavered between sitting back down, and escaping the compartment before he got any more involved with the bickering lunatics sprawled on the floor of the carriage. Ikkaku had disappeared already, lucky bastard. A prolonged screech and a sudden heave in the train's motion settled the question for him by throwing him off his feet back onto the floor.

"GARGH."

"Fucking hell!"

"Get your elbow out of my eye!

"SEIREITEEEEEEEEEEEI!" the train's loudspeakers boomed. "ALL STUDENTS TO ALIGHT AND ASSEMBLE ON PLATFORM!"

"What are you trying to do, suffocate me? Let go of my collar!"

Oh yeah, this was getting off to a _great_ start.

-----

Urahara hadn't really chosen his office for its excellent view of Seireitei Academy's main entrance and courtyard (he'd been more interested in the fluke in the school plumbing that meant that all the water pipes congregated in a small room just beside his office, and properly utilised, told Urahara what was happening in every bathroom, and some places not bathrooms, in the main compound). He'd also liked the small skylight that overlooked the roofs and offered, he told everyone, wonderfully clear views of the night sky, just right for star gazing and astronomy.

But he wasn't one to say no to a convenient benefit either, and now, telescope resting on sill, he propped his elbows and leaned out to watch the courtyard mill with students back for another year of character building, education, and amatuer criminality. Somewhere in the eastern end, Soi Fong was haraunging an unfortunate lower year who'd made the mistake of getting in her way; over in the west, Byakuya was cutting a swathe through the crowd via the sheer force of his contempt for his fellow men. Kaien, he noted, was simultaneously waving at familiar faces and dragging a younger, stockier boy behind him.

It took maybe fifteen minuts for the upper classmen to herd the first years into a confused, chaotic mass in the centre of the lawn. He tapped the telescope on the sill and studied the crowd. They looked a _very_ interesting bunch; Seireitei got more entertaining every year, as he told Yoruichi (not that she ever listened). That small girl so short she was nearly invisible in the crowd had to be Byakuya's younger cousin, the family resemblance was really quite striking. But she wasn't the shortest, he noted; somewhere on the edges, a grey-haired boy who looked at least three years too young to be here was trying to stand apart from the crowd and not quite succeeding because another girl (black-haired, the right age), kept trying to pull him back in.

But the figure he chose to really watch was easy enough to spot - not too tall, perhaps, but enough to be seen, and certanly it was bright enough. An orange-haired boy was being jostled first one way, then another, a scowl of epic proportions gracing his features. Urahara lowered the telescope and smiled. Well, at least he could tell Isshin his son had arrived safely, if he asked. And - had nearly gotten into a fist fight five minutes after reaching the school too. The Kuchiki girl (what were the names of those distant cousins of Byakuya's again?) calmly elbowed him in the gut before it actually degenerated into one, though, such a pity.

The door behind him creaked open, and Tessai looked in.

"Staff meeting's beginning soon, Boss."

"Ah." A glance at the clock told him he was right. "I almost forgot the time. I'll be down in a minute, Tessai."

Tessai looked past him to the window and his eyebrows rose behind his dark glasses. "Got here safe?"

"But of course. Why wouldn't he?" Urahara said, folding the telescope and setting it on the table.

"Didn't expect him to send him here. Not now."

"Kurosaki always did like his traditions. And it all works out well enough, really."

Tessai pushed his glasses up his nose. "Going to be a difficult year," he said, non-committal.

"But at least it'll be an _interesting_ one, hm?"

_end_

Notes: As inspired by the colourspread for chapter 209, aboarding school AU of idiotic proportions. Please do not expect 1) a plot or 2) the author to complete this. Comments are always appreciated. XD;

December 2005


	2. Say Hello, Punch in Face Mix

**The Only Adventure**

**Two: Say Hello (Punch in Face Mix)**

* * *

Ichigo wouldn't have admitted it to anyone if they'd tried to wring it out of him, but - okay, maybe Seireitei Academy looked a little impressive. At first glance. A_ little_. It was all that Gothic architeture, gargoyles and all, hanging over you in spiky, time-blackened stone. It probably would've been more impressive if the place hadn't been overrun with screaming, howling students, thundering up and down the corridors and twisting, narrow stairs. By the time he'd found his way and stopped wandering in circles, two-ton trunk in tow, the place was looking decidedly less glamourous, if only because dragging baggage up twenty flights of ridiculously steep stairs would have disillusioned _anyone_.

At least he'd finally found the right room. He glared at the dull gold numerals that had been screwed into the door (sure, put him on the top floor of the tallest tower in the school, why not? Now all he needed was a witch with a turnip garden and he could pitch his trunk out the window on Prince Charming). Another bad thing about Gothic architecture: the room numbering system made no sense comprehensible to the human mind. He heaved his trunk up the last step with a crash and tried to open the door. It wouldn't budge. He frowned, then pounded on it. "Hey!"

A muffled sound of scuffling came from behind the door, which swung open to reveal a small, nervous-looking boy.

"Oh! Hello! You must be, um..."

"Kurosaki Ichigo." A paper had been taped on the back of the door with three names written on it. Ichigo tried to read it. "And you're..."

The boy bowed. "I'm Yamada Hanatarou. It's nice to meet you, Kurosaki."

"Yeah, same to you. Who's the third guy?"

"Um, I don't know, he hasn't come yet."

"Huh, and I thought _I_ got lost."

He dragged his trunk into the room and abandoned it just inside the door. This high up, the room was smaller than some of the rooms he'd seen - probably explained why there were only three of them in here. The ceiling sloped down to almost meet the floor on either side of the door; three beds with tall, narrow wardrobes beside them lined the left wall of the room. The right was lined in three desks with shelves above them, the wall opposite the door taken up by a large round window. Smaller windows are scattered high in the sloping roof.

A trunk was sitting at the foot of the bed nearest the door, a blue coat hanging on the wardrobe beside it. Ichigo raised his eyebrows. He'd have thought whoever came first would've grabbed the window.

"This your bed?" he asked, gesturing. The boy nodded. "You didn't take the window?"

"Oh, er, I didn't know if someone else would want the window bed, so I thought I'd wait till everyone had come..."

Ichigo snorted. "You're going to get eaten alive in this crazy place if you're this nice all the time," he told Hanatarou, then dragged his trunk over to the window bed. He stuck his head out to admire the view. The tower was at the very end of the western wing that were the boy's dorms; far below was the green of what he assumed were the courts and practice grounds, beyond them, the darker green of forests. The sun was setting already, Ichigo realised, low and red in the sky; how long had he spent wandering the damn place?

"Nice view," he said, coming back in. "You sure you don't want this one?"

Hanatarou nodded. "It's really alright! I'm very comfortable here," he assured Ichigo.

Thumps from beyond the closed door made them look up. Voices, two of them. The door swung open with a bang.

"I can take my trunk myself!" a boy their age was protesting from the landing as an upper year, tall and black-haired, looked into the room and grinned at them.

"And who was the one that got lost trying to find his room? Kuukaku told me to take good care of you, c'mon. She'll kick my ass if I don't. Your roommates are here already," he said over his shoulder, and shoved a trunk into the room.

The other boy looked around the door. He was a little shorter than Ichigo, stockily built, with the same bushy black hair as the older boy. Ichigo raised an eyebrow. Hanatarou looked at the list on the door.

"Shiba Ganjuu?"" he hazarded.

"Yeah." He came into the room and jerked a thumb behind him at the older boy. "And that's my brother, Kaien. Which one's my bed?"

Ichigo pointed at the middle one. "Only one left."

The boy grimaced. "Knew it," he muttered. He turned to his brother. "I'm fine now, you can go back already!"

"Aw, what, embarrassed of Big Brother?" The older boy ruffled Ganjuu's hair and ducked a punch. "Dinner's in an hour in the main hall. Don't be late!" he called over his shoulder as he went back down the stairs.

Ichigo looked at his roommates, then flopped down on his bed. He rubbed at his stomach, where Rukia had elbowed him earlier during the first big assembly - hell, who had elbows that _sharp_? It'd been over an hour and he could still feel the bruise, she'd probably _permenantly damaged_ his kidneys. Note to self: Crazy bitches with lethal elbows, avoid like plague. This place was starting to make it look like there was a _reason_ why his father was so insane - getting out of this intact was clearly going to be even harder than he'd thought.

He heard Ganjuu drag his trunk over to the middle bed, asking Hanatarou about that prep school thing - deep in thought, he didn't pay attention until Ganjuu's face loomed into his line of vision and made him jump.

"Oi, I said, which prep were you from?" he said.

"Didn't go to prep," Ichigo said, sitting up, hard. "Wouldn't even _be here_ if it weren't for my crazy old man."

Hanatarou looked surprised. Ganjuu looked like he expected Ichigo to sprout antlers and breathe fire next. "What?"

"You..." The other boy's eyes narrowed and Ichigo suddenly found his face three inches away from his own. He prodded Ichigo in the cheek. "You know, you look kind of like -"

Ichigo punched him.

"Fuck! What was that for, asshole!"

"What the hell do you think! You started poking me first!"

"I was only gonna say you looked like my brother, you didn't have to hit me!"

"Ah... er, please don't fight, oh shit what'll I do -"

"Yeah well, d'you always poke people you think look like your brother? And I don't look anything like him!"

"What, you got a problem with looking like him? You only wished you were that cool!"

"Maybe _you_ wished you were that cool. I don't give a shit!"

"Ohshitohshitohshit - Don't!"

Hanatarou, in between flailing in a vain attempt at stopping them, and looking scared out of his wits, somehow managed to trip over someone's trunk and crash into Ganjuu, who let go of Ichigo's collar and stumbled back.

"Oi!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that! But please don't fight, it's only our first day here and I'm sure we'll get into trouble if someone hears you and anyway, we're roommates, it's not good if we don't get along, right? And um, I'm sure you didn't mean to hit each other or poke each other or -"

Ganjuu opened his mouth, glared at the smaller boy, then shut it and settled for folding his arms across his chest and glaring at Ichigo.

"_So_," he said in portentous tones.

Ichigo glared back. "So _what_?" he demanded, belligerent.

"... _So_, what house're you two in?"

"Camellia. You?"

"I'm in Willow," Hanatarou said.

"Think they put me in Lotus, same as my brother used to be in."

"Well, aren't you lucky," Ichigo said.

Ganjuu paused and grimaced. "Yeah." He didn't sound too sure of that. "Not that I'd be as cool as he was," he muttered to himself, turning to drag his trunk to the foot of his bed.

"What specialisation is your brother in?" Hanatarou ventured to ask after a few minutes of silence.

"He's fifth year, Navy."

"Oh."

There was another long, awkward silence while they went back to unpacking, and privately exploring the confines of their room, which was looking smaller and smaller by the minute. Ganjuu bumped into Ichigo trying to look out the window, and for a minute they scowled at each other, then settled for ignoring each other again.

It probably figured that it'd be Ganjuu who broke the silence. "SO. That your real hair colour?" he asked, staring at Ichigo.

"Yeah it is, want to make something of it?"

"Nah. Saw someone with pink hair on the train, yours is nothing. Just thought I'd ask." Another pause. "You'd /really/ look like my brother if it was black, though."

"... I'm not dyeing it."

"Hey, I didn't say you had to! I'm just sayin', geeze, you always this touchy?"

"Who's touchy? And what's with you thinking I look like your brother anyway?"

"C'mon! Hanatarou, you saw 'em, you don't think they look alike?"

"Um... um. Maybe? A little? Please don't fight!"

"Who's fighting? We're just having a little friendly conversation."

"Not with a face like yours -"

"Hey, you want one, I can take you anyday!"

"Oh no, not again, please..."

-----

Rukia had no trouble finding her room, despite the maze that was the eastern wing. There was a _reason_ she'd spent the holidays reading up on Seiretei - and not just the school textbooks either, as Renji seemed to think, but histories, records, even maps. Rukia believed in _research_ - she was not going to disgrace the Kuchiki name, or disappoint her cousin and her sister, or -

Surprisingly, she wasn't the first to arrive. When she pushed the door open, a petite girl with bright pink hair was already perched on the second bed from the door, drumming her heels on her trunk. She looked up when Rukia came in and beamed.

"You're finally here!" she said, hopping off the bed and standing. She was a little taller than Rukia, but not by much. "I was wondering when someone would come!"

Rukia blinked for a moment, then beamed back, sparkling, because first impressions were always important. "Hello! I'm Kuchiki Rukia. You're...?"

"I'm Kujajishi Yachiru! Did you get lost finding tthe room?"

"Oh no, not at all!"

"That's good! I was a little worried that the rest of you wouldn't be able to get here, don't the walls and everything get in the way here a lot? Ken-chan says if I didn't come so often and know everything so well already, he'd be worried that I'd never be able to get anywhere because my sense of direction's so bad. But it's not that bad at all, I always know where I want to go -"

"You come here a lot?" Rukia echoed, still trying to process the stream of chatter

"Yep, I used to come here during the holidays when we didn't go somewhere else because Ken-chan said at least I'd get lots of room to run around here, and there'd be no one to complain if was too much noise."

She blinked at the other girl. "Oh. That nust have been nice. Ken-chan?"

"Oh, he teaches here! He teaches... what'd he call it? Combat and survival training? It sounds fun, doesn't it? I hope they let first years take it!"

"It's in our schedule, so they do," Rukia said, remembering. "I don't know if er, Ken-chan - What's his name? is teaching it though."

"Our schedules are out?"

"I got mine from the office," Rukia explained, still smiling. "I was worried they might not give them to us in time otherwise, I like time to prepare, you see. You can look at mine if you like!"

"Oh, maybe I'll go look later then. Hm, if you're Rukia, then there's only Momo left. Do you think she got lost?"

"Momo?" Rukia turned to the list of names pinned to the door when Yachiru pointed at it. There were only three names on it, althought there were five beds in the room. "Oh, Hinamori! I don't know, maybe she's coming soon. There are only three of us here?"

"It looks like it! At least we'll have more room, though I'm a bit sad, it'd be more fun if there were more of us, don't you think?"

Rukia wasn't so sure about that, but she didn't say so, only smiled and went back to studying the room. It was long and narrow, lined with beds on one side, and desks on the other. There were two windows, just by the second and fourth beds. Looking out, she saw a wide field, the faint glinting of what looked like a small stream, and far in the distance, grey stone buildings - it must be one of the colleges for the upper years, she realised. She stepped back from the window.

"Which bed are you taking? Were they assigned?"

"It doesn't look like it. I'm taking that one with the window," Yachiru pointed to the bed she'd been sitting on. Rukia nodded and considered the other four. The other window bed was the most obvious choice, but if there were only three of them here, Rukia thought they could probably spread out a little. She dragged her trunk over to the bed furthest from the door. There was more than an hour left until dinner, she knew. Might as well start unpacking now.

Unlocking her trunk and opening it, she lifted out two photographs in frames - one of a family of four: two parents, a girl and a baby. She didn't give it a second glance; she'd only really brought it because if she'd left it behind, then Hisana would find it and /know/ she hadn't brought it. The second she glanced at -

"Ooooo, she's pretty. Is she your sister?" Yachiru said over her shoulder. Rukia narrowly avoided jumping and yelping.

"Ack! Yes, she is," she said.

"She looks like you," Yachiru said, cheerful. "Does she come to Seireitei too?"

"No, she doesn't." (Rukia wouldn't think of how worried Hisana had looked when she'd gotten her acceptance letter. She wouldn't think about that cool, considering look her cousin had worn either.)

"That's too bad. Oh, why don't I show you Ken-chan, then!"

Skipping over to her own trunk, Yachiru threw it open and rummaged in the mess inside before pulling out a large framed photo.

"Ken-chan was so silly about taking the photo. He said he didn't know why I needed one, it wasn't as if I was going toforget what he looked like," she said, then showed it to RUkia.

Rukia stared. It showed a tall man with a heavily scarred face, a glare that could have terrified wolves and hair gelled up into _spikes_. Standing beside him, Yachiru looked _tiny_. She was also smiling and waving a V-sign at the camera, never mind that 'Ken-chan' looked ready to eat the photographer. She blinked. "Ah..."

"He looks scary, doesn't he?" Yachiru said, and giggled. "But he's really not, you know, you just have to -"

The door opened just then and a dark-haired girl looked in. "Um, is this..." she said.

Rukia looked up. "Hello, Hinamori. You're finally here!" she said, and smiled.

"Oh, Kuchiki! I didn't know we were going to be roommates," Hinamori's tired face broke into a smile. She looked at Yachiru just as the other girl bounced to her feet.

"Hello! You're Momo, right? I'm Yachiru!" she said. She looked at the both of them. "The two of you know each other? Did you go to the same school?"

"It's very nice to meet you," Momo said, smiling back.

"We're from different preps," Rukia said. "But her classmate's an old friend of mine, so we met sometimes."

Momo had looked around the room, and now she blinked at the empty beds. "Oh, I'm not the last one here?" she said, surprised.

"There's only three of us," Rukia explained. "I think there weren't enough students this year to fill all the rooms, or they had an odd number. Did you get lost?"

"Oh, yes, it was awful, I went to the teacher's quarters by mistake, and I had no idea how to get back! But one of the teachers saw me and gave me directions and helped me find a prefect, he was really nice," Momo said.

"That was really nice of him. Who was he?"

"Ah, he said his name was Sousuke? Aizen Sousuke? He teaches Maths, I think."

"Maybe he he teaches first years," Rukia commented. "It's going to be dinner soon. You'd better choose a bed."

Momo chose the middle bed, and they spent the next twenty minutes unpacking and talking. It went peacably, and Rukia mentally wrote a reassuring letter to her sister in her head - "my roommates are very nice, I think you would like them, and I've met Hinamori before, she used to be in Renji's class, and the room has a very nice view and -"

The door crashed open.

"I _told_ you all the first year rooms are on the top floor, man, see what happens when we listen your direction sense?" Ikkaku said and strolled into the room. "Oh hey, Hinamori! Didn't know you were rooming with Renji's girlfriend too -"

"Will you stop calling her my fucking girlfriend? Do I look that crazy?" Renji snapped, coming in after him. "This was _your_ stupid idea - Oh hey, Hinamori."

"Abarai! It's nice to see you, but um, are you sure you should be -"

"What are you two doing here?" Rukia stood and frowned at them. "Boys aren't allowed in the girls' dorms, there's going to be trouble if you're found here -"

"Hey, it's the first day, no one's going to care where we go. You could wear a peacock's tail on your head and no one would notice, you should see _our_ roommate."

"It doesn't matter what you think _we're_ the ones that're going to be in trouble if you get cau -"

"You can tell 'em we held you hostage in here or something, _geeze_." Ikkaku said. Renji strolled over to the window and looked out. "Figure the girls would get the better view," he said, leaning out of the sill and looking into the garden below. "And I bet it's easier to sneak out from this side too, you should _see_ the boy's dorms."

"Maybe that's because they're worried that the _boys_ were more likely to try and break out of bounds," Rukia snapped. "As the two of you are _proving_ right now. It's only the first day here and -"

"Oh, you should talk. Who was the Little Miss Perfect who almost set _our _school on fire and then talked our principal into believing she'd saved it from a raging - FUCK. You didn't have to kick me so hard! The hell Renji puts up with you I don't kno -"

Yachiru, who'd been watching the conversation with interest, chose that moment to observe."Your head is really shiny. Do you do that on purpose? It looks like a dango!"

Ikkaku looked at her. "A _dango_? What? It's -"

"He shaves and polishes it every morning," Renji said with a snort. "Takes _forever_ in the bathroom. Doesn't want people to know he's balding ear -"

"Shut the fuck up, Abarai, _you're_ the one that nearly got expelled for your fucking neck tattoo. And if it weren't for me, it'd have been your eyebrows too and _then_ you'd have been in the shit."

"Who was the one who got me fucking _drunk_ because he thought it was a joke first? You're just lucky I didn -"

Rukia looked at them. First impressions, she thought. _She_ still had a good one she wanted to make, never mind those two barging in and ruining everythi- Yachiru was giggling as she watched. "Are they your friends?" she asked Rukia. "They're very funny!"

Friends, she thought, wasn't quite the right word. Just then, the sound of hurried voices and running feet in the corridor outside made them look up. Momo looked out the door, curious, then shot back in, eyes wide. "The teachers are coming!" she said. "I think they're checking that everyone's in the right rooms, Abarai, Madarame, you need to -"

"Shit!"

They stared wildly around the room. "Don't be _stupid_ there's no way you'll fit in the closet, moron!"

"Oh, so you'd rather jump three stories out the window!"

"Maybe if we hide them under the beds, the teachers won't see them..."

"They're bound to catch them, they're too _big_."

"They're coming!" Yachiru said.

Rukia looked at the door, then made up her mind and and set her jaw. She grabbed Renji when he made one last desperate dash at the window. "You'll break a _leg_," she hissed at him, then grabbed Ikkaku with her free hand. "I told you there would be trouble, Hinamori, help me!"

"Ah, Kuchiki, what are you trying to -"

With Hinamori holding on to a swearing Ikkaku, Rukia wrenched the door open, then with a heave, shoved them so hard they fell out of the room sprawling.

"Kuchiki! Are you sure we should -"

"Fuck! Bitch, you didn't just -"

She slammed the door shut before they could scramble to their feet, then locked it. Loud pounding filled the room for a moment, before the sound of footsteps, then voices, ended it. The three girls pressed their faces to the door, but the oak was thick and the words muffled.

They were clearly in trouble, however.

Rukia tried to think. There had to be an excuse for the boys to be in the girls' dorms... Yachiru nudged her. "Open the door," she whispered.

Rukia blinked at her and Yachiru winked, then wriggled past her to unlock the door and open it.

"Mrs Unohana! Please don't scold them, they're only here because I got lost and they helped me carry my stuff here!" she said.

The tall woman with long, dark hair pulled back into a neat plait, looked up as the girls spilled out the room. "Yachiru," she greeted in mild tones. "These boys showed you to your room?"

Yachiru nodded. "Yes! I got lost and went to the wrong wing, and ran into them and they were very nice and said they'd helped me crarry my stuff here because it was sooooooo heavy and -"

"I thought you'd stopped getting lost here years ago," the woman observed.

Yachiru stopped. "Ah, that's because -"

Rukia cut in before Yachiru could try to come up with another unacceptable excuse. "I'm sorry, Mrs Unohana! Yachiru was only... trying to help me. They only came because I left my wallet on the train and forgot to take it back. I suppose Renji was worried that I'd need it," she said, smiling apologetically.

The teacher gave her a look that somehow managed to be simultaneously bland and yet not - _quite_. "Is that so... I'm sorry, your name?"

"Kuchiki Rukia, Sensei."

"I see. Well, I suppose I can make an exception this once, since it's the first day and they were only trying to help a friend. I hope you have your wallet back?"

"Ah, no, not yet -"

"Then Abarai and his friend had better return it and get back to their rooms, then."

Behind her, Renji gave her a disgusted look, then had to cough and duck his head when Mrs Unohana turned to him. He rummaged in his pocket, pulled his wallet out and handed it over without a word. Rukia accepted it with brilliantine thanks, then waved and watched Mrs Unohana escort the boys down the hall and out of the dorm.

"You're good at this, Rukia," Yachiru said, with a grin.

Rukia gave her a coy smile. "Oh, it's nothing, really," she said. Rifling Renji's wallet, she found that he'd been right when he said he was broke. "Only ten dollars," she said, thoughtful. "But it should be enough to get us all something nice, don't you think?"

_end_

Notes: ... The author is, er, unsure of whether she's going to continue beyond this point. Given school and her non-existence attention span, the odds are not very high? I'm sorry. ;

January 2005


End file.
